In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
