I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
