I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
