i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
