Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
