Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
