too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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