Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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