where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
