we have officially lost it.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
