So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
