apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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