its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
