Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
