I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
