home. puking in laundry basket.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
