yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
