Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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