remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
