boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
