How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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