Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
