dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Hippo gnu deer
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
