I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
