I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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