please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
