what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
