So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
