sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
