So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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