He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
