so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
