No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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