Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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