I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
