My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
