he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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