That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
