Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
