yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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