My first STD was from a foam party
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
