Swine flu. Run for my life!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
