and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
