I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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