You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
