So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
