I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
