oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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