I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
