You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
