There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
