You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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