My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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