What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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